I just realised how long it has been since I put an entry on.
Lets see...
Uni has been hard, and lame and boring. I've been finding it hard to concentrate on anything but Japanese this semester. I know my efforts have been really half-ditch but they are the best I can do at the time. I'm really disappointed.
I have about three "working" days to come up with a 2500 story. I am even more burned out creatively than last semester. I have a bunch of 100 word snippets of things but I just can't take them anywhere. AND I chose "creativity and Literature :Victorians to Moderns" as it was in English and I thought, super no creative this time. Its all creative with weekly submissions. I'm so fucked. Sigh.
Japanese has finally got harder. Which is good. I was getting used to being lazy so I'll have to quit that quick smart.
My project this semester is about religion in Japan which has been amazing as japan has such a rich cultural and religous history, but they claim to be atheist. I wrote and did a survey. Its been amazing.

I also got into an invite only international honours association, which luckily can't revoke lifetime membership so hahaha you've got me now, for better or worse.

Been hanging out with some new people, trying to expand my social circle since half of it up and left to Japan. It's going ok. I don't know, I just haven't felt like connecting to a lot of people. Though I made friends with quite a few Japanese people who ( this is a running trend) returned to Japan this week. Dammit. Though they all promise to meet up with me in Japan when I go, which might be soon. Though I'm not game to say anything in case it doesnt happen. But its big. And amazing. And I'm so fucking scared. I have to go get a medical for my application on friday. Fucking expensive. I need a chest xray and everything. I'm afraid they will find something and I'll be really sick. Thats why I havent had one before. But now it could stop me going to Japan. Then I'll go to Japan, maybe for a few months, which I'm also terrified of. What if I get sick, or someone gets hurt or sick here.. what if I miss something. What if, what if... what if chris decides he doesnt need me anymore... what if something awful happens in Japan?
What if I get like I was before?
What if I fail and let the uni down?
My family?
I'd never forgive myself for ruining my chance of a lifetime.
So I'm sorta secretly hoping I don't make it into the 23 people accepted globally. Then, I hate myself for thinking it. Because if I miss out, I'll be disappointed.
I'm confused, and angry. Mostly afraid. I'm being the chance of a lifetime (or moreso the chance for a chance...)and I'm looking at it like I was just handed a grenade and I pulled the pin out.
Oh god....
stupid, stupid...

Had a BBQ with some Japanese B guys...literally all guys, save me, who was also the only non Jap B person there and the Japanese students. They are pretty awesome. We had sushi of course, I did some baking which was pounced on by the Japanese students. According to a girl with a brownie in her mouth 'In japan, we are bad with baking, so if you can do this when you come japan, you make many friends ok" which was cute, a little confusing but nice and heartfelt. or brownie felt...hmmmm
Isao made okonomiyaki. Full on osaka style real japanese with real japanese ingredients okonomiyaki. It was... different. They had prawns and all that in them, as they do, i don't like seafood.
Then Rino put one on a napkin, put a heap of tonkatsu sauce on it, then topped it with a literal heap of dried bonito flakes and seaweed shaving-y things that looked like green Parmesan (not joking!), gave me afork and they all waited expectantly as I and the other whiteys () delved in. It was... nice... I guess. Something I would need to get used to. Like expensive cheese, etc. Then when I had about a mouthful left Isao said 'oh maybe she wants some kewpie on that" and i was handed a bottle of kewpie ( a really tasty japanese mayo. it tastes nothing like ours. to say it is blander is not quite right, but as its not sharp and bitey like ours, it will do).
Of course some kewpie would have made it a millions times easier to eat. So, I squeezed on some kewpie and made the mouth party.
I'm not in a rush to have them again but I definitely will, here or in Japan.

We got guitar hero the other day. We played it a bit at our dear friends house, I SUCKED so bad. But I beae the game (3) on easy with only two three star songs. I've played a few on medium now and haven't failed. I even managed to get a five star one. Not doing great, of course, but hey. Progress.

I just finished the Arbiter's grounds in Twilight Princess, its been ages since I played that game. I don't play games during semester, as I don't want to get behind. But I am already doing so badly, I figured hey, instead of writing three terrible lines in three hours, why not play a game. I'm so demotivated and out of ideas. What will I do with myself.